Fruit by Brian Francis

In a rush at the library one day a while back, I spied this book sitting on the recently returned shelf.  The brief description on the inside jacket sounded promising so I scanned it at the checkout and went on my way.

This is what hooked me:

Peter Paddington is 13, overweight, the subject of his classmates’ ridicule, and the victim of too many bad movie-of-the-week storylines. When Peter’s nipples begin speaking to him one day and inform him of their diabolical plan to expose his secret desires to the world, Peter finds himself cornered in a world that seems to have no tolerance for difference.

Peter’s only solace is “The Bedtime Movies” — perfect-world fantasies that lull him to sleep every night. But when the lines between Peter’s fantasy world and his reality begin to blur, no one is safe from the depths of Peter’s imagination — especially Peter himself.

 Ohhhh my good gracious...this book had me in stitches nearly the whole time I was reading.  Between conversations with his protuberant nipples, appearances by the holy Virgin, and fantasies of being Brooke Shields, we see Peter "Fattington" grow into teenhood and attempt to reinvent himself before hitting high school. 

Poor Peter hails from a typical American suburb and, as is the norm in his family, he is borderline obese.  The youngest of his siblings, he is coddled by his mother and has only one friend, a foul-mouthed Italian tomboy that lives across he street.  Our hero desperately wants to have "cool" friends and please his father through sports and shop class, but no matter what he does he just can't seem to succeed and often sabotages himself in his attempts.  Deep down Peter knows that he doesn't like these things and that he is different, (because come on...how many thirteen year old boys put on makeup, a dress, and heels to perform Olivia Newton John hits when home alone?), but he refuses to accept this and instead insists on striving towards normal.

His mother's younger brother, Uncle Ed, is disliked by Peter and his sisters as he is basically a child in a morbidly obese adult body, but there are parallels between Ed and Peter that are evident to the reader and subconsciously recognized by Peter himself.  Like why Uncle Ed has never married or even had a lady friend.  Could it be because...?  But no...no!  Surely not, of course not, no way...  (Oh, Pete, open your eyes!)

It's never said outright what terrible secret Peter's nipples hold, but their representation becomes obvious by the end of the novel.  Though he tries to cover them up with tape and with bandages, he cannot hide them forever.  Peter's coming-of-age is not complete at the story's close and the reader can only hope that he and his nipples can someday come to terms with eachother and live in harmony.

In a way, Peter reminds me of Winnie the Pooh.  He's a big softy at heart and often displays this through subtly helping out those around him and picking up on the insecurities of others, doing his best to make them feel better.  He loves his honey, (or food in general,) but gets into sticky situations because of it and then can do little but say, "Oh, bother!"  He is lovable and endearing and tragically realistic, as are all the characters Francis creates in this adorable tale.

I really liked this book and can think of no type of person who would not, unless you just sincerely dislike humorous reads and prefer heavy, drudging encyclopedic lit.   While it may not be the most intellectually stimulating book you've ever read, Peter's plight will make you both tear up and smile, and often at the same time.  It is hilarious, heartbreaking, clever, and cute.  7/10